


Touch Deprivation

by kristiest



Series: TsukiHina Short AU/s [2]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Big angst, Blindness, Fluff, M/M, Pining, Short Story, Sudden blindness, TsukiHina, big sad, blind tsukishima, disabled tsukishima kei, hianta shouyou, hinata is an innocent little boy, hinata shouyou is dense, tsukishima is bad feelings, tsukishima kei - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-05
Updated: 2020-09-05
Packaged: 2021-03-06 19:27:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,136
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26294119
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kristiest/pseuds/kristiest
Summary: With your skin that felt like the sun on a summer day, I forgot about the caution I grew to live with.
Relationships: Hinata Shouyou/Tsukishima Kei
Series: TsukiHina Short AU/s [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1912936
Comments: 3
Kudos: 78





	Touch Deprivation

**Author's Note:**

> new blind au :))

Tsukishima lost his eyesight overnight. Like he was cursed, or someone stole it in his sleep. The day before, he was alright. Until the evening, when he started feeling excruciating migraines. Those migraines pushed him to rest, and he fell asleep after hours of struggling and rolling around in his bed.

The moment he opens his eyes the morning after, he sees… nothing. It was completely dark. At first, he just thought that it was the curtains. So he got up, legs a little wobbly as he moved to his window to get rid of the silk that hung over a rod atop of the windows. His hands touched warm glass, and he couldn't find the curtains. They were neatly tied in the sides. _Why can't I see anything?_

Tsukishima touched his lids to make sure they were open, and they were-but he couldn't see anything. _What’s happening?_ He holds onto the window sill, blinking, again and again, wondering why all he saw was black.

“ _A-akiteru…!_ ” 

For a week, Tsukishima didn't come to school. He was too down to face his classmates, or to play volleyball. He had been getting migraines more frequently, and his vision would often blur during those migraines. Honestly, migraines weren't new to Tsukishima. He would get them a lot growing up, so he didn't think that this was worth mentioning. He didn't think much of it and didn't tell anyone because he thought it would be stupid, as it would seem like he was asking for concern or care. In this case, it’s _him_ who’s stupid. Which is rare.

He was one of those unlucky ones who gained blindness in both eyes. And, normally, things like this would happen to people who are over 50, so Tsukishima’s is completely unlucky and as said, rare.

It was completely overwhelming. To lose your eyesight overnight. Tsukishima couldn't get used to it, every morning he would still panic if he was greeted with darkness first thing. It’s been a month already. He’s still hoping his eyesight will come back, it’s unlikely… 

He tries to manage himself everyday. But it’s hard, as expected, but Yamaguchi’s always around to help him. Which is something Tsukishima’s thankful for, however, there are just those times that he wishes that he would be left alone. He hates being watched over. 

This day is different. He loses his way in the hallways of Karasuno School, and it's past the end of classes-so no one’s around. If anyone ever is around, it would be volleyball, basketball, and football players. 

Yamaguchi for sure thinks he’s home already. Because if not, Yamaguchi would be by his side right now.

With much caution, Tsukishima held onto the plain cream colored walls. His eyes are open, even though he can't see anything, closing them all the time feels like a hassle. He’s on the third floor, where his, as well as Yamaguchi’s classroom was located. 

He knows the school well. He’s sure he could find his way around even if he’s blind. He’s just scared of tripping, or falling over something. Looking pathetic in front of others is the last thing on his list. He’s a few steps away from his classroom, one hand on the wall, the other is gripping on his red school bag.

He just wants someone to find him quick. He’s starting to feel incredibly anxious. What if no one finds him?

“... what do I do…” He asks himself quietly, stopping in his tracks and holding his head. “Yachi’s also in the court, Kageyama and Hinata, too, of course. Those dorks run to the court the moment the bell rings…”

He starts talking to himself, he turns and leans his back on the wall. “Someone’s going to come eventually, right?” He slides down on the wall and stops when his bottom hits the floor. “I don't want to go down the stairs without help.” 

He sighs, shakily, and leans his head on his knees. “Damn it.”

He stays like that for who knows how long. He’s playing music on his phone, he tried calling Yamaguchi a few times, but the latter wouldn't answer his phone. Probably because he was busy with training. 

… that was given, actually.

“... Tsukki?” Tsukishima hears, and his head lifts from his knees. “Are you okay?”

It’s Hinata’s voice. 

“Yeah.” Tsukishima answers, not moving from the floor. _Why is it him, of all the people in the world?_ “Why wouldn't I be?”

“Uh, well.” Tsukishima just knows that Hinata’s holding his chin, while his body’s a little tilted to the side. “You look down, first of all. Uh, no, actually! You look like a lost kid.”

Hinata’s words pierce through, and it puts Tsukishima in a salty mood. Which is actually, his usual mood. “I’m not lost, you idiot.”

“Well, whatever. I’m going now.” Hinata says, but he doesn't really move from the spot he’s standing.

“W-wait!” Tsukishima turns to the side where Hinata’s voice came from. He gets up, holding onto the wall again for support. “W-why are you here?” He says this just so that he wouldn't be left alone. He doesn't want to be alone. Even if the other person’s the short and annoying middle blocker that he used to be club mates with.

“Ah, well,” Hinata speaks in a quiet voice, to make it seem like he was far away from Tsukishima. “I forgot my homework in class.” 

“Huh. Typical.” Tsukishima tries to look at Hinata, he hopes that he’s looking at Hinata, but he doubts it. He feels someone touch his chin, it’s Hinata’s warm touch, Hinata makes Tsukishima look to the side.

Hinata lets out a heavy breath through his nose, “I’m here.” 

“Whatever.” Tsukishima shoves Hinata’s hand off. _Why didn’t I flinch?_

“Wanna come with me to the classroom?” Hinata asks, and he really walks off this time. He doesn’t wait for an answer because he just expects Tsukishima to follow. “So, what were you doing?” He says this, and waits for an answer. But he doesn’t, so he turns around to find Tsukishima at the same exact spot he was earlier. Hinata stops walking and rushes back to Tsukishima, the blonde’s looking down on the floor. “Tsukki? Are you okay?”

“... yeah.” Tsukishima just answers, but it’s obvious to Hinata that he isn’t. Hinata doesn’t press on it.

“Uh. I’ll go to the classroom, and go back here. Just wait.” Hinata unconsciously points with his thumb, he keeps on forgetting Tsukishima lost his sight. 

“Why should I wait for you?”

“Because,” Hinata puffs his cheeks, thinking of a reason. “I want to go home with you.” _I should walk him home. No one else is around, I’m sure Yamaguchi’s already gone._ “Okay?! So stay here. I’ll be quick.” Hinata turns around again and runs to his classroom to grab his textbook. _Ahhh, Tsukishima looks so down… I want to help him._

Once Hinata retrieves his notebook, he stuffs it inside his bag and goes back to Tsukishima. He finds the blonde leaning against the wall, arms crossed while he’s still looking down. Hinata notices it just now, but Tsukishima isn’t wearing his glasses anymore. Well, of course. It’s meaningless. He looks kinda cute without them. He looks younger. And unsalty. He looks nicer and cooler overall. 

“Hey,” Hinata greets, combing his hair up. “Let’s go.”

“‘Kay.” Tsukishima says but he doesn’t move.

“... let’s go.”

“How do you intend I follow you? With the sound of your singing?” The blonde cocks his head and knits his brows together. He should probably be acting nice because Hinata’s already helping him. But habits always get the best of him. Even with Yamaguchi, he’s like this, but Yamaguchi’s one who doesn’t mind. But knowing Hinata, the boy’s going to eventually storm off. That’s not part of the plan.

“Ah, haha, right.” Hinata scratches his neck, “... how do we do this?”

Tsukishima sighs, moving the strap of his bag further into his shoulder. “Just guide me, tell me the way.”

“Let’s just hold hands, it’s better that way.” Hinata takes Tsukishima’s hand. Tsukishima steps back and pushes Hinata’s hand away. “Oh. Do you not like that? S-sorry, uh.” Hinata looks at the way they're going to take. “This way, straight for about 8 steps.” 

Tsukishima rubs his arms, just following Hinata’s directions in silence. It’s awkward, but they push through. Push through until the stairs.

“We’re in front of the stairs now.” Hinata takes the first step down, but his eyes glued on Tsukishima. “I’ll be right in front of you, so that you don’t fall.” Tsukishima bites his bottom lip and tries to look for the handles, Hinata helps him. The ginger again takes Tsukishima’s hand and puts it on the railing with old, peeling paint. “There.”

“Thanks…” Tsukishima takes the first step, Hinata’s just two steps down. He’s slow, it’s obvious he’s scared. Hinata’s carefully watches with his hands in front of him, ready to catch Tsukishima, in case he falls. “Hinata?”  
“Yeah?” Hinata’s voice is soft.

“Actually, c-can you just hold my hand?” Tsukishima can’t believe that he’s saying this. He wouldn’t even let Yamaguchi hold his arm, his hands? Never.

“Sure.” Hinata skips towards Tsukishima, gently taking their hand and making their way down the stairs. That might be the fastest Tsukishima’s walked in weeks. The blonde doesn’t think much about it. Once they’re on the ground floor, Hinata expects Tsukishima to let go. But the boy doesn’t. Maybe he’s just unaware, or got used to it almost immediately. Hinata doesn’t mind, he’s happy that he can be of help. This might be the first time he’s ever helped Tsukishima with anything. The thought brings a smile to his face. 

The hand inside his own is warm. It's perfect, and Tsukishima grows unbearably conscious about whether his hands were cold or not. Did it show? Did his body react to how nervous he was? He knew for a fact that his hands are naturally cold, but with the anxiety that settled in, did they become colder? Could Hinata tell with how incredibly comforting his little fingers felt, no matter how little they covered of Tsukishima's skin? This was nice. He could get used to this. Holding hands with Hinata wasn't a bad idea. While they walked, and as they continued to walk until the exit, Tsukishima started to relax. He didn't want to ever let go. And that's something no one would ever expect from the cold, stoic Tsukishima Kei. Hinata's hand... It just… fits right. Like they’re made for each other. The hands, Tsukishima means. To hold. Like this. Hinata’s hand is surprisingly soft, despite the fact that Tsukishima knows for a fact that Hinata doesn’t care for his hand like Kageyama who cuts and files his nails, who probably uses lotion. It’s smooth, but there’s dry skin around the cuticles. Tsukishima unknowingly felt around Hinata’s hand while they walked. Hinata thinks it’s cute…

“We’re here.” Hinata says, stopping and looking up to Tsukishima. 

“Really?” Tsukishima turns to look at Hinata, he’s right this time. It’s probably because he’s used to looking down on Hinata.

“Yep. Why?”

“Nothing. It felt fast.” Tsukishima lets go of Hinata’s hand. He doesn’t really want to, but whatever. “Thanks. Get home safe.”

“Yep!” Hinata smiles, “See you tomorrow.”

“Yeah.” Tsukishima smiles as well, not even knowing that Hinata was smiling as well. Tsukishima feels around his gate, he still has difficulties. He hopes Hinata hasn’t left yet. He turns to look back, but he already feels someone open the gate for him.

“There you go.” He hears Hinata say.  
“... thanks again… uh, can you just walk me to the door?”

“Of course.” Hinata answers immediately, he grabs Tsukishima’s hand and walks inside the gate. He whispers an apology for his intrusion, then leads the taller boy to the door. “Here we are, should I open the door for you?”

“Yes, please.” Tsukishima hears their front door creak. “Thanks again.”

“No worries.” Hinata is the one who lets go this time. “Go in, I’ll close the door for you.” 

“See you tomorrow.”

“Yeah.” Hinata says before closing the door, then leaves after locking the gate. Tsukishima stays at the door until he hears the few thumping of the gate latch. When he knows Hinata’s gone, he walks to his room. Without much difficulty, of course, it’s his house. He knows everything by heart. 

Once he’s in his room, he puts his bag on his desk and lies down on the bed. Everything he can think of is how Hinata’s hand felt inside his. He wants to hold it again. He wants Hinata to be the one who helps him now. 

“The hell are you thinking?” He says to himself, judging himself for his thoughts. “That’s going to be the last time anyone ever holds my hand.”

**Author's Note:**

> i dont know if ill ever update this? bc the ending here serves as a "just right" conclusion for me? however if i do come to update this, it will take ages 
> 
> scream at me [here](https://twitter.com/krisstiest)


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